The Strong-willed child

Wow!  Wow is really all I can manage to say.  Over the last few weeks we have been struggling with a very strong-willed 5 year old.  I should have known he would turn out like this when he refused to sleep as a baby, or when he was running down the hallway at the hospital just hours after he got his tonsils out and ripped his IV right out of his arm when he was 2.  I should have known he would be strong willed when he would tell me exactly what cup he wanted to drink his milk out of and would not have it any other way or wanted to still take a bottle to bed with him even after he was too old for it. I have worn myself out with the struggle of trying to get him to calm down and not be the 5 headed monster he seems to have become when he does not get his way.  Almost daily I find myself crumbled in a ball on the floor with tears of exhaustion and feelings of failure.  Almost daily I find myself whispering prayers to God to help me to not loose my cool and to help me handle him at all.  Gosh, motherhood is hard!  It is the most exhausting, non-glamourous job anyone could have.  I have taken the abuse.  I have been kicked, hit, spit at, hated and told to leave all in one day!  I love my kids with all my heart and always thought I would be the perfect mom (well not perfect but at least great).  I have news for you all...definitely not happening.  Daily I seem to fail my children in one way or another.  Don't give them enough time and attention, yell too much, or love to little.  I know though that there is only one person who will never fail them.  I can only ask for patience and strength to get me through these times.  I will still fail my kids, probably daily but I am reassured that no matter what happens God will never fail them. In the meantime I will continue to ask God to give me what I need to get through this season (oh I hope it is a season and not a lifetime!)  

The Zombie ate my brain...

Wow has it been a while since I last posted.  Life totally gets away from you when you are having fun! I can officially say I am worn out and TIRED (maybe feeling even a bit Zombie-like).  Our lives have been so crazy over the last few months.  My little boy turned 5 at the beginning of February.  Little Jackson...how boring would life be without you!  You make us laugh, you make us cry, you make us question our sanity a lot of the time but you also make us wonder how different and boring life would be without you!  You are one special little man and we thank God for bringing you into our lives each and every day (well maybe not on the days when you seem to push every one of our buttons-just kidding!) Now the tired and stuff...The boys are at THOSE ages now.  The ages when they seem to push every button and test every rule and talk back when you tell them anything. They are constantly arguing and whining that one might have something they did not get.  Please tell me this is just a phase and they will grow out of it.  They are 7 and 5 and I swear at times I think zombies might have come and eaten their brains because they seem to not think things through. We have had the same rules in this house since existence but they must be Greek to my guys. But Jordan has been such a good helper lately.  He takes the dog out, feeds and waters him and does the morning routine now almost always without a reminder. Both of the older boys love their little brother and always want to hug him and help him whenever they can.  I am thankful for that!  My little, littlest one has had an ear infection for 2 weeks now (round 2 of antibiotics here we are!) and he has not been sleeping which means that us parents have not been sleeping either. Let me just tell you, sleep deprived parents and hyperactive children are not a good combination! Tempers flare, tears get shed and misery is had by all.  I have had my moments when I feel like a bad mom but lately I feel like I yell too much and my fuse is far too short. I am trying really hard to step back and breathe but in the moment that is so hard to do.  My kids are really good kids but they just have so much energy (if only I could bottle some up for myself for days like today when I am running on 2 hours of sleep-oh well).  Everyone goes through a season and right now our season is craziness but we will move into a new season and take life from there.  Pray for me though that I can keep my sanity to move into the next season!

Philippians 4:13- "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."